When angels die
by Murail
Summary: After war between Hell and Heaven  One was broken to the point of no return. The other was loosing himself in insanity. If they wanted to save themselves they will have to find a world for them on their own. Yaoi BxR
1. Stained wings

C**hapter 1: Stained wings **

_Every demon should have its own angel. Its other part. Its equal element. Or somehow like that they are saying it. Then why am I still alone and part of me is missing? __In this never ending war the chance that I would find my angel is even smaller. __I know that, but my soul still longs for something I can't have. _

_It is like an eternal circle._

_With every wing I rip apart it's become clearer. Why can't I stop? Why do I look into their scared eyes? I'm looking for something that I can't describe or understand. I'm looking for a meaning, which still eludes me. I'm standing on the battlefield full of dead bodies, in the middle of an emptiness of the soul filled with death and smell of blood. I'm looking into eyes of dead angels and asking: WHERE ARE __THOSE__ WHO WHOULD SHED TEARS FOR YOUR DEATH?_

_The third day of death – the diary of a demon_

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Everything hurt. Actually, it felt like his world was made from never ending pain. The curtain ofblood floating down from his wounded forehead was making impossible for him to see anything. Instinctively, he was still putting one leg before the otherstubbornly refusing to stop. Over all the pain he felt his fear even greater. Where the pain was destroying his body, his fear was paralysing his very soul.

It was wrong!

This all was wrong! It wasn't supposed to happen! It was absurd! In spite of everything he started laughingbut the laugh was quickly replaced with painful cough. He had to lean against a tree to prevent himself from falling. For a moment he wondered what was the point in this continual wandering around. He was almost dead anyway.

On his lips appeared a bitter smile, which was quickly gone. The bitter feeling returned when he again he started cough. His lungs were not drawing in air like they should. Everything looked so meaningless. Even a life. It was so easy to close eyes and never open them again. So tired. He couldn't remember the last time he was so exhausted. Probably never. He desperately wished to forget everything. So much so that he wanted to stop thinking about it.

They were wrong! He couldn't just stand and look at them. It wasn't right! That wasn't supposed to happen! Not that! Not like that!

Tiredly he slipped down between strong roots. To protect himself from cold he wrapped his wide wings tightly around himself. White feathers were stained with blood and dirt but he didn't bother. Who cared that the once shining whiteness was gone? He was cold and that was all he cared about.

Everything hurt so much he couldn't even sleep. All he could do was fall into a half unconscious daze. He wanted to die… To forget… To disappear…

The screams were hunting him and didn't let him rest. The painful visions of blood and crippled bodies filled his mind. He wanted to yell all the pain he felt in his heart. If only he wasn't so tired. Instead from his eyes fell silent tears.

… so cold.

He wrapped the wings around himself tighter and noticed that snow had started falling. It couldn't be colder. That whole place was one big freezing piece of ice. Even the trees were cracking from the cold.

… so tired.

He couldn't sleep. The only thing he could do was to fall unconscious when the blood lost finally kick in. But he needed to stay awake, if he fell asleep he would die. He needed to wake up his already half sleeping mind and continue. He knew that he could freeze to death any moment. But to continue where? Besides it was so hard to keep his eyes open. They felt so heavy, as if it would be easier to lift up two stone desks. It was strange that he didn't feel the cold anymore. His body had to be to dumb from the freezing wind that it couldn't feel anything anymore. He didn't mind…. Death was something he welcomed with open arms. It would mean that he could forget everything. Mostly them. Something in his mind was screaming at him. Something wanted him to wake up and continue.

If only he wasn't so tired. If only he knew what to do.

He tried to live among them. But he couldn't just pretend to not see.

He tried to run and live for what he believed in. But he wasn't strong enough.

The last thing that came to his mind was wishing he could forget.

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Blood.

That was something he was used to. There was always so much of it. On his body … his face … and mostly on his hands. He lost count of how many of them he killed. It was so easy. They were so confused… so lost. All of them. They didn't know what to do. How to react. When everything was destroyed and the chaos of war had reached everywhere some of them even became monsters.

He grinned.

He liked them. They gave him an excuse for killing them. He felt strange when he killed the innocent ones. He hated to feel that way, but the ones who had turned into monsters that were almost worse then he was… that was a whole different story. It was almost pleasurable. Satisfying not only to his body but his soul as well.

He didn't care who he killed. Angels or demons they all were his enemies now. He couldn't care less. They were pathetic. All of them, no matter how graceful they were making themselves out to be!He despised them. They were all filth. They were worth nothing to him.

The black lather wings were forcefully ripping through the freezing air. It was so long since he had flown so freely. They were arguing … his people … forcing him to stay with them …

He hated closed rooms. It made him feel sick. He couldn't stand it. He needed to be free. Somewhere, he could run freely without bothering about others. He didn't need them. He hated them.

He hissed angrily.

How could they tell him what to do? How to act? How to feel?

He wasn't feeling regret.

He didn't know how.

He didn't know that feeling.

He was Bakura after all.

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There was something. Something shining white on the edge of the forest. Bakura could see it with a corner of his eye and that caught his attention. He was curious to see something untainted when only the grey ashes of destruction could be seen all around. What could be possibly so white to stand up in such ugly mess?

Bakura carefully landed on the ground. He didn't like forests too much. They didn't give him the needed space. He wanted something where he was free. Somewhere where he could spread his wings and feel the rush of wind under them. With an annoyed sigh he looked closely at what caught his attention.

He gasped.

It was a body of a dead angel.

The white hair was half covering the pale face that retained its gentle features even in death. Bakura took one step closer to look who it was. The angel had obviously frozen to death. What looked like a shining snow from above were his wings half wrapped around his form.

They were dirty.

Stained with dirt and blood. But yet they were so beautiful. Bakura held back the urge to touch them. They looked so smooth and soft. There was blood all over the youth's body, some remaining on his face as well; it looked as if he'd been in a fight.Sad.

He looked weak yet strong. But those he was fighting were obviously stronger than him. It was strange but true. He looked so fragile but something about him screamed of stubbornness. Bakura leant further to take a closer look. Two icy paths trailed down the boy's cheek.

Tears!

He was crying before he died. Thought Bakura unsurprised. When he was about to kill someone they were usually crying and begging him for mercy. But this one's face looked different. It's so sad. He looks like he died from inner suffering.

Bakura leant a little bit closer and carefully ran his tongue over the boy's cheek. The tears frozen on his face tasted strangely. They were still salty yet … sweet. Maybe it was the angel's skin what tasted so sweet to him. He didn't know. Just as the thought of leaving the woods and the angel behind crossed his mind he noticed something surprising.

The angel was breathing.

He was still alive.

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Ok I'm sending this as well. Hopefully you will like it and let me know ). Unfortnately I've lost the original document on my computer so this is the other version. Should be the same but if not I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not updating for so long but the last few months I've worked 63 hours per week and sleeping was the only thing I could think of doing. I changed job now so I should be able to update sooner.

Also for everyone who is waiting for update of the "Sometimes you can't have everything" it will be updated at Saturday or Sunday this week.

Thanks

Murail


	2. Broken souls

Chapter 2: Broken souls 

_If I met you… my beautiful other part … what would you do? Screamed for seeing a monster or curiously asked who I am?_

_The fourth day of death – the diary of a demon_

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He was warm. The sensation he didn't believe to feel again. It felt good. Something was wrapped around his beaten body and calmed his flushed nerves. He didn't want to open his eyes. He wasn't cold for the first time in days and he wanted to keep it that way.

Suddenly, something wet run across his cheek.

"Wake up!"

He didn't want to. The wet touch was there again this time on his lips. It wasn't bad. Actually, it was kind of nice. Maybe he could open his eyes just a little.

The eyelids twitched and reveal a pair of beautiful chocolate brown orbs. Ryou stared into identical eyes leaning just above him. It was supposed to make him feel confused, surprised or something like that. Instead he didn't feel anything. He was death inside. For a very long time he wasn't able to feel anything. That was why he just stared back into these foreign eyes and didn't say anything.

Nothing had mattered to him anymore.

Bakura was staring into the angel's eyes – confused. They were death. He didn't understand. The angel was breathing, his skin was warm under his touch but these eyes were as dull as eyes of these the demon killed. Experimentally, Bakura ran his tongue across the angel's lips again. He expected the boy to push him away or twitch or anything, he definitely didn't expect him to just lie there.

"What are you doing?" asked Ryou not really caring for the answer. His voice was as dull and dead as his eyes.

"What would you say?"

Ryou closed his eyes. He wasn't tired, but he didn't feel like talking at all. It didn't bothered him where he was or who was with him. Nothing had mattered anymore. Not to him.

"Where am I?"

The demon pulled back. He couldn't believe it! The angel was unfazed as if nothing happened. As if he didn't know how dangerous the demon was. As if he didn't care.

"In a cave. I found you two days ago. You were half dead."

Bakura didn't understand. He wanted to kill the angel. He wanted to hear him scream in pain… yet he couldn't do that. The dull eyes of death he saw when the angel woke up intrigued him so much that he wanted to know more. More about the angel who was lying on the ground uncaring if he was alive or not. He wanted to know more and he was about to find more.

"Angel, what's your name?" Bakura's voice was low with danger and threat … but under that was something more that even him could label as interest. The dull eyes looked at him.

"Does it matter?"

Within Bakura's chest boiled anger. Stupid angel. Why can't he answer his question with an answer and not another question? Of course it mattered. At least to him. Bakura never bothered with what will be tomorrow. For him existed only now. Right now, there was an angel he was eager to lay his hands on and strangled him to death.

"I want to know, angel! Tell me your name!" the absoluteness of that command left Ryou unfazed. The boy slowly closed his eyes again.

"Ryou."

Bakura's eye twitched again and this time more violently. _That kid must be a suicidal if he was acting like that._ Like a spoiled brat Bakura felt a rage rising inside of him. Never before any person dared to treat him like that. Treat him with absolute non-interest and fearlessness. Bakura wanted to act like a small child that wanted more attention from adults. Experimentally, Bakura ran his tongue across the angel's lips again only to change this action into a deep and rough kiss. Ryou didn't pull away but he didn't return the kiss either. He was just lying there emotionlessly and lifelessly.

The demon was sure that if he raped the boy he wouldn't even flinch. Actually, Ryou wouldn't probably notice such an act at all. But … the angel tasted sweet. Like a cinnamon stick and something entirely different. Whatever it was Bakura wanted to feel more of it. He let his tongue to run across the moist walls of Ryou's mouth and moaned from the overwhelming taste.

When he pulled away his aroused mood quickly dropped death at the sight of unmoved angel. He didn't understand why he wanted so much the attention of one angel brat but it was frustrating that he didn't get it. He wanted to hear him scream. It didn't matter to him if in pleasure or pain. He wanted to see emotion in those lifeless eyes. Anything from pain to fear.

Anything as long as he was cause of that emotion.

But the boy was just lying there ignoring everything around him. Even Bakura. The demon couldn't break him because he already was broken. With an annoyed sigh Bakura plopped on his elbows and looked directly into the angel's eyes that were staring back at him.

"You are no fun. I should let you die!" he growled at the smaller boy. Ryou nodded.

"Yeah, that would be probably better." That resignation in his voice made Bakura snap. He sat back and than he hit Ryou. It was hard but the angel didn't do anything. Not that Bakura would stop if he did. The demon continued to beat him until he lost consciousness. Not screaming a once.

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It was dark when he woke up. His mind was so restrained from his body that he didn't feel any pain. He remembered the demon to beat him but didn't give it a second thought. It wasn't the first time somebody did this to him anyway. He could almost hear their voices. Explaining and moralizing. It made him sick.

He still couldn't properly remember what happened to him. The angel knew they beat him almost to death but somehow he managed to get out of there. Out of that small room he was looked for so long. He also remember running through the woods and collapsing under an oak tree. Soon after that he had to lost his consciousness. But parts of his memory were still fogged with mist of dizziness and pain.

And there was the demon.

Ryou wasn't sure if he was holding him captivated or what. There weren't many things he could imagine to raise Bakura's curiosity over him. The demon had to be obviously bored out of his mind that he bothered himself with saving an injured angel. After all, angels and demons were in war that was going on for millennia. Nothing new.

To Ryou, his demonical look-alike was a mystery. According to their rules Bakura was supposed to kill him at sight… but instead of that he took care of him. Ryou didn't understand what was keeping Bakura curious. The angel wasn't sure exactly why Bakura beat him, though. Others usually beat him up when he oppose them not when he agreed with them. It was definitely something new to him.

Then again… not that it would matter. Ryou couldn't bring himself to care. Not anymore. In the end it was all the same. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't change a thing… he couldn't save anybody. Not even himself.

Another long moment passed and he was able to see around himself. It was dark in the cave and that was making it much worse for him to notice his surrounding. He couldn't find Bakura anywhere. Maybe he left him to die, too bored by his presence to stay near him. That was something Ryou understood. People always left him alone after some time. Deep inside of his soul something moved. Some emotion he didn't recognize. It was gone too quickly to identify what it was so he let it go.

Ryou tried to sit up but his body hurt too much to do so. There was nothing left than lay still and wait. The angel bitterly chuckled. To wait for what? His death? It sounded crazy but he didn't see any other choice. He definitely didn't believe for Bakura to return back to him. Well… not for another reason than to finish him off.

That demon … Bakura.

He was confusing him. He didn't act like others of his kind. He was obviously completely insane. There was no other explanation why would he kiss him otherwise.

That kiss…

Once again Ryou could feel something inside of him stir at that thought. Nobody kissed him before. It was unexpected and weird. Ryou thought that he should feel disgusted but he didn't. Actually, it wasn't all that bad. To some point it was almost … nice.

Ryou's thoughts were interrupted with noises from outside the cave. Before he could think about it in the entrance appeared Bakura. Almost immediately Ryou could smell the foul scent of blood. The closer look revealed a dead deer in demon's hands. Without a word Bakura threw the animal on the ground and started working on setting fire. When he finished and the cave was gently illuminated by the dancing flames Ryou could better see the state the demon was in.

First of all Bakura was covered in blood. The angel could only guess if it was the deer's or Bakura's own. Secondly, he looked satisfied about something.

Ryou didn't dwell on it. The smell of blood was making him sick. It brought back memories of things he desperately wanted to forget. The only thing he could do was to close his eyes and try not to think about it.

"Hey, angel!"

Ryou opened his eyes only to see Bakura hovering above him with a piece of bloody meat. The angel wished he would never open them at all.

"Eat it! You are half starved. You need to get your strength back."

Ryou stared at him in disbelieve. The demon couldn't be serious but seeing him to chew on another piece of blood soaked bite he obviously was. Without a word he shook his head. Bakura frowned.

"You need to."

"But I can't eat meat! Not to mention raw meat."

"Why to ruin the taste with cooking it? It's much better like this." Bakura frowned again. "And what kind of idiot wouldn't eat meat?"

The angel was staring at him dumb struck. In his confused mind he didn't understand the demon. Why did he beat him when he acted now as if nothing happened at all? Why to bother when he didn't have to? Ryou didn't understand. He just couldn't.

For Bakura's taste the angel was quiet too long. The demon, being his impatient self, simply forced the meat into Ryou's mouth. The angel immediately started to struggle. Unfortunately for him Bakura was far stronger and kept a firm hold on him. Ryou fought the urge to gag while his mind was once again trapped inside a terrifying nightmare. No longer was he seeing the demon above him but a line of dead bodies. Memories of smoke, screams and mostly death filled his mind.

It was a torture. Never ending circle of pain he endure every time he remember. It was his entire fault.

His fault for not being able to save them.

His fault for not being able to stop them.

His fault for letting them kills whoever they choose.

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Yup chapter 2 is done and chapter 3 is in making. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I did in it. With this story I'm trying a bit different style of writing so please bear with me.

To Aislynn Goldleaf:

I'm sooooooo sorry. I will try to do better. sobbing in the corner thanks for the review by the way. Comments fuelling my writing.

Thanks to all who took their time to read this

Murail


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